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I donapos;t get me sometimes...
This week has been GREAT I have been so excited about new possibilities and have enjoyed experiencing new things and getting things done.
All of a sudden today I am just so irritated by EVERYTHING. Iapos;m sick of talking to people and pushing myself to the background for school. I have run out of patience and I need a refill.
I usually pride myself on how much I can tolerate...and I finally found a breaking point.

Thursday I got a bit of a refill because I went to see Ray and we talked about some really practical things like how to get in touch with othersapos; feeling...and the key to that is to get in touch with your own feelings first. If you donapos;t understand how you feel about things then how can you even begin to understand othersapos;.
And I had a really good talk about guys with him. I asked him about why it seems like guys arenapos;t doing any work in relationships or for relationships.
I went to craigslist just for the heck of it and all the guys who were looking for girls all have the same grocery list for girls and OH�WAIT they are waiting for someone else to do the work of finding them.
Sorry, but I have no patience anymore for guys who donapos;t work for their relationship.
I know it sounds like a double standard...but it really isnapos;t...because I hold the same standards for girls who are whining about NOT being in a relationship and WAITING for the right guy to come along. GO�OUT�AND�GET�A�MAN because there are guys out there who donapos;t have the balls to say "Hi" to a girl, and there are guys out there who donapos;t know that some of these girls exist because the girls donapos;t get off their butts to go and be seen
The same goes for guys.

I have finally gotten over the fact that I donapos;t have anyone to even ask to makeout with me. Iapos;m just content with finding guys to get hot over. But I am honestly too busy to fret over guys. I�HAVE�WAY�TOO�MUCH�TO�DO
But I do like looking at hot guys...they are fun.
Like the other day I had a thing going with a guy in one of those racing red subarus. We were dancing around each other on the highway and he was in front of me for a while and I could tell he was looking at me through his rear view mirrior and then his exit came up and he moved over and before I passed him he started craning his head over to get a couple good looks at me. I smiled at him and I toyed with the idea of blowing a kiss to him. It was great :D

But right now...I donapos;t feel like sacrificing any more of me to anyone or anything. But that is tough cookies because I have a lot of crap to do this weekend.
It kind of apalls me that I am the one who listens to everyone elses problems but when it is time that I want to talk about my problems just to get them out of my head...no one wants to listen. I donapos;t get it.
So this journal is just gonna have to do.

Lord, give me patience and peace.

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